Everything begins with movement, with a first step and as I begin to let my mind wander from synapse to page, I have to say that I need to re-think this statement.
Everything does not begin with movement. It begins with a voice. A calling.
Let me explain what has been happening these past couple weeks. I have been working for a home services company for the past couple years. All of a sudden after many wonderful relationships and memories, my company decided to move back to the beautiful shores of California. We had a choice. I had a choice. We could either move to California with the company or we could choose to search for other opportunities.
At the time, I was overcome by fear of the very aspect of moving away from my mother-land of Texas. On top of the sheer timidity of the idea, I did not feel comfortable with what was being given to me or how the timing felt for this change. Long story short, my timing did not match up with God's.
So what has happened since then? I am sitting in a Starbucks in a suburb in Los Angeles, drinking my usual green tea and asking God what in the world am I doing here?! Let's rewind just a little bit more.
After I said no to the first offer to California, a door was opened elsewhere back in California. I was sitting around my apartment complex when I heard a voice. Yes, a voice. Not an audible voice that sounded like Morgan Freeman, but a voice deep within that asked, "Are you ready?". At first I did not know what this meant, but "You've been waiting for something to happen, and now it's happening." "Are you ready?" To make things even more amazing, I didn't even have to answer. My soul answered back and it said, "I have been working and letting you sharpen and mold me for a time and now i'm ready to move with you."
Over time, God revealed that he wanted me back in California. For what reason i'm not sure or where I will end up, i'm not certain, but God knows exactly where i'm meant to end up. I could not fathom in my wildest dreams that I would decide one afternoon to buy a next day plane ticket to Los Angeles on a calling, but here I am. You have sent me. I look out at the beautiful landscapes and the waves that crash against the beach and I think about the song from Addison Road that goes:
"What do I know of you, who spoke me into motion? Where have I even stood but the shore along your ocean? Are you fire, are you fury? Are you sacred, are you beautiful? What do I know of Holy?"
I don't know much about this God that told me to move and I know even less about the depths of His mercy or His grace. I don't know the extent of how He will change me or perfect me through all of this, but in the end, it's all about unearthing why He does what He does and trusting that everything is being done for my good for all of those who are called according to His purpose. To be honest, this is terrifying. I don't know what i'm doing here or what's going to happen. This is completely outside of my character and when I look back at when I had to have my mom sign my lease for me to get me to stay on campus, how could I ever end up here? How could I even consider going miles and miles across the country?
Since i've been here, i've seen the beach and the mountains. I've seen the city and the hills and i've felt at home. So, as I sit in this Starbucks, I ask that God reminds me that Fear is not of Him and that there can't be any timidity within me.
"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline." - 2 Timothy 2:7
I pray that if God calls you to a mission or to a place that you remain strong and courageous with Him so you may look past the haze of fear that the enemy tries to put in front of your eyes. Do not be timid, but see the adventure and look forward to the amazing things that your father has for you. I'm going to try and make a series out of this to let you know exactly what is happening in this calling. If you have anything that you feel you are being called to, please leave a comment so I may pray for you.
Thanks for reading!
Grayson
